Regular Here!


Today, I had the opportunity to introduce a fellow Worship Leader conrad, Colby Martin, to the beauty of Golden Spoon Frozen Yogurt. We walked in and it was totally slow in the store and we started the venture of tasting the flavors we wanted to try. It was just us and the helper behind the counter. After a second round of tastes, I turned around to notice a middle-aged woman that was behind us in line. She was a young grandmother/empty nester kind of demographic and just a tiny bit on the portly side. She stood with the posture that ‘she knew what she wanted’.

Being the nice guy that I am; I wanted to let her go ahead and get what she already knew she was getting, since Colby and I were still undecided. This was the moment of words coming out that I had not planned to furnish ‘the way the came out’.

I looked back at the lady and, very graciously, said, ‘Do you know what you want?’ To which she quickly answered, ‘Yes! To which I said, without meaning it the way that it hit, ‘Ahhh, YOU LOOK LIKE A REGULAR HERE!’

She stared back at me with an amused and mildly offended face, as she politely nudged me in the shoulder when she stepped forward to make her order, and said ‘HEEYYY!’

It was in THAT moment that I could not take back my words. I FELT HORRIBLE while trying to think quickly on my feet, but, the damage had been done…the words had been said. Oh, what i would give to get those words back and out in a different way.

Do you have any stories like this one? Post a comment with your story. This is my day, this is me, as human as they come.

P.S. – to the woman I said that to, if you’re reading this, it was not my intention to have my words come out that way. I was just trying to let you go first! HONEST!! I’m sorry. HA!


12 responses to “Regular Here!

  1. Haha, thats awesome. I hate it when things come out the wrong way especially to complete strangers.

  2. I once told a Christian recording artist that their CD made a great coaster for cold drinks… but I was TRYING to offend them, so that’s different.

  3. I was at a grocery store once, you know, where you have to bag your own groceries. They didn’t have anyone available to bag my groceries so I went and bagged my own. When I was in High School I had a job in a grocery store and bagging groceries was part of that job. About halfway through my order, the clerk ringing up my groceries said “hey, you’re pretty good at that” to which I replied, “yeah, used to work in a grocery store before I got a real job.” Immediately her face went sour and there was nothing I could do to take those words back.

  4. I once asked one of my mom’s friends when her baby is due. She said she’s… not pregnant.

  5. I called my friends mom a “fat moo-moo cow” in the 7th grade. But that wasn’t a slip-up. I thought she was a moo moo cow. I was banned from his house for 3 years.

    I threw a rock that hit my PE teacher in the head in the 8th grade. But that wasn’t a mistake either. I told my friends, “Hey watch, I’m gonna hit Mr. Queen in the head with this rock.”

    But those stories aren’t the same as yours… why can’t I think of one that is?

  6. HAHAHAHA! R.G. – you’re anger management has come a long ways my friend.

    all of these stories so far are pretty funny!

  7. I had an experience like that on Saturday but the opposite end; and it was intentional on this old hag’s part.

    I went to a lecture at UC Berkeley on Saturday morning and had woke up and thrown my hair in a ponytail, not high on my head, not able to obstruct the view of anyone in that might sit behind me; you know, I don’t try and draw attention to myself via attire or hair styles. Anyway, after the program finished this old hag behind me says, “Excuse me, next time you come to a lecture, maybe you could wear your hair down. I was getting whiplash trying to look over you.” I seriously wanted to smack her. Ughh, I HATE…possibly despise old Berkeley hippies. Such entitlement.

    I shouldn’t have rallied up my emotions telling that story at the beginning of the day. My eyes are going to bulge out of my head!!!

  8. About ten years ago, I saw my boss at the time at Smart and Final. He was dressed pretty swank and I asked him why. He was on his way to his mother-in-law’s funeral. “Oh, man. Sorry to hear that.” Then leaning a bit closer and speaking a bit tongue in cheek, “…or should I say congratulations?”

    “Mike, have you met my wife?” …as he turned his eyes toward the lady in front of him at the checkout. She had heard every word.

    The Power of the Tongue was learned that day.

  9. I was at a restaurant several years ago after a college ministry event with the whole gang. I was in the middle of the table across from the Pastor’s wife whom I was engaged in a discussion about tattoos. I was telling her how hypocritical it was when people say getting a tattoo is a sin citing the verse commonly taken out of context instructing us to honor our bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit.
    At this point I should mention that the lady was speaking with passionately about this was overweight. On a roll, hardly paying attention to the words of wisdom gracefully pouring from my lips I announced by way of analogy “using that verse for tattoos would be like using it for you being fat.” Now I meant the “you” being general, not specific to the portly pastor’s wife in front of me, but that’s not how it came out, and…it gets worse. I tried to back-pedal…never a good idea.
    Seeing the shocked look on her face, I declared, stammering slightly “I didn’t mean you…you’re not that fat… “ sweat beginning to form on my forehead as people were looking at me I tried to defer the reference to her onto me with “I mean…I’ve got a big gut too!” As mouths dropped and eyes widened, I finally ended with “I gotta go!” and ran like a girl to the bathroom where I waited for enough time to pass for the conversation to change at the table and to return with my head hung low hoping no one would say anything. Foot-in-mouth disease- I firmly believe God designed me with a specific purpose to be steady source of humor.

  10. I have a friend who lost use of his right arm in a street bike accident. He still has the arm attached it just doesn’t have the ability to move…cut to a couple years later, we were right about to go home from a rather long road trip and I was wishing I was there already. I walked into the room where he and a couple other friends were sitting, threw myself onto the couch and said “ughhh I would give my left arm to be home right now”…at that point I would have given both arms to take that comment back.

  11. This was kind of the other way around, as in I was on the receiving end of the comments. You gotta love kids…or maybe not in this one’s case. I am a librarian at an elementary school. I’ve been doing my job for 7 years and do a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. We have over 700 kids enrolled and I make it a point to get to know each and every kid by name.

    One day, a kindergarten class was in the library doing their thing. Now, you have to understand that this class is not your group of little angels. They are often loud and not doing what they’re supposed to do, which causes their flustered teacher to often shout at them in a high-pitched voice that goes completely unnoticed by those whom it is aimed at.

    Anyway, the little buggers were lined up to check out their books and this one kid is elbowing everyone and shouting that he deserved to be at the front of the line. I calmly asked him to take his place in line and not to shove or push others out of his way; that I would help everyone in turn. He continued making the fuss, so I asked him to go to the end of the line. Now, remember this kid is only 6 years old. He looks me right in the eye and says, “You’re so mean! And you know what? You don’t have the skills to be a REAL librarian, that’s why you work at a school and not in a real library.”

    I was speechless, but was somehow able to mumble, “Well, regardless, I’m in charge here and you need to go to the end of the line.” He went, still grumbling under his breath. After thinking about it, I knew that he didn’t come up with that kind of verbage by himself. He’s gotta be hearing it at home. And I felt sorry for him. Not for his actions or words, but the fact that he is not getting the nurturing he needs at home. So when it was his turn to check out his book, I gently told him that he had been rude and hurt my feelings, but that I forgave him because I knew he didn’t mean it.

    I am still the librarian and I am still kind to this kid. He has really changed the way he talks to me. He is always polite and makes a point to give me a hug before he leaves each week. I hope that in some small way, my lack of an angry response made him realize that not all adults react the way he has obviously seen at home.

  12. When I was 4 I told a lady in our church that she looked like a witch. She had tons of black eye makeup and my brother and I used to call her the witch-lady. One day, I decided I should share my advice and told her that she wore too much makeup. Whoops. And, to top it off, I still see her to this day. It’s been YEARS, and she has barely changed her makeup. What can I say, I tried.

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